In the brilliant "Yes, Please" (if you haven't read it, go find a copy!) my best friend and spirit animal Amy Poehler described divorce like this:
"Imagine spreading everything you care about on a blanket and then tossing the whole thing up in the air. The process of divorce is about loading that blanket, throwing it up and watching it all spin, and worrying what stuff will break with it lands".
Never a truer word was spoken. I've been a single mum for a little over two years now and truthfully, going through a separation with a baby is like walking a tightrope across Niagara Falls, in gale force winds, while it snows. In front of all of your family and friends and Facebook. Oh! And you're naked. Did I mention that?
In those early days, being surrounded by other happy families and books about happy families was tough. Books about "special" divorced families was worse.
I remember one day going to storytime at the library and the librarian was giving a tour of the kids section for all the new parents. "And here are the books for....difficult situations. This is where you'll find books on someone passing away, or kids whose parents are going through a divorce". It stung so badly my eyes watered and I was frozen, feeling like the only person in that room who needed a "difficult" section and like there was a flashing neon sign alerting the whole world to that fact.
The difficult section never did help. But there were quite a few totally unrelated children's books that did. There was one in particular that we loved then, and still love now. Paper Dolls.
It was my sister that first showed me Paper Dolls. Her four year old adored it, and she knew it would speak to me too. She was right of course, but probably wasn't counting on my bursting into tears and shouting "You STUPID BOY!" halfway through and for that I apologise to her, my four nieces, and the 25th floor of the hotel we were staying at on our family vacation.
Paper Dolls tells the story of a little girl, in tiger slippers, who makes a chain of paper dolls with her Mama:
"They were Ticky and Tacky and Jackie the Backie and Jim with one eyebrow and Jo with the bow".
Oh, how she loves those dolls. They dance, they sing, they laugh, they evade sneaky tigers and crocodiles. They play in the long grass and talk to ladybugs. And no matter the adventure or danger, they're holding hands and they won't let go.
Until one day, a boy comes along and snips them. Snips them into a million pieces and tells them they're gone forever. But (spoiler alert!) that isn't the end of our brave paper dolls. Oh no, no, no. Their pieces all join together and the dolls find a new home, in the little girls memory, along with so many other special things.
At first I thought this sweet, whimsical book about childhood and loss and memory was way too sad for the Bea (honestly, I still get a little choked up in parts), but like her four year old cousin before her, she loves it. I think it's the repetitive text and sweet illustrations and the funny adventures of the Paper Dolls.
For me, it's a story about the magic of childhood, a reminder of the love between a mother and a child and how no matter what, we'll always be together.
"We're not gone, oh no no no, we're holding hands and we won't let go".
It probably wasn't written with this intention at all, but I think this is a beautiful one for any Mama going through a hard time.
Kids 4-6 will love it too - it's a great one for doing extension activities and there's a tonne of paper dolls ideas on pinterest!
the book and the bea x
No comments:
Post a Comment